Oreo Crumble Cheesecake Bars

Today I need a little therapy. And blogging is kind of like therapy in a lot of ways.

This time, I really need to talk about the love/hate relationship I have with Oreo cookies.

Mostly because I can’t even prove that the love I have for them is real.

High-fat high-sugar foods – like Oreos – stimulate the pleasure center in your brain the same way that psychoactive drugs do so you get addicted to them. Maybe not to the level of cocaine, but the white stuff in the middle of an Oreo cookie might as well be crack.

But I don’t care what’s in them. I don’t want to know.

If I ever look at the ingredient list of an Oreo cookie, I will hate myself because I’m pretty sure they go against everything I stand for in food.

And yet, yet, I am still going to throw them into my food processor, blintz the hell out of the little bastards, and make a freaking delicious crumbled cheesecake bar with them.

I have no food morals when it comes to Oreo cookies. But I’m at least going to bake something with them instead of just reaching into the bag for another cookie. That’s my compromise.

Take an Oreo hit. You know you want to.

Oreo Crumble Cheesecake Bars

Makes 9 large bars or 16 small bars, depending on how you slice them.

What You’ll Need:

For the crust:

  • 2/3 package of Oreos {approx 24 Oreo cookies}
  • 2 tbsp melted butter

For the cheesecake bar:

  • 12 oz whipped cream cheese
  • 6 tbsp sugar
  • 6 tbsp sour cream
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1 egg + 1 egg yolk
  • 1/3 package of Oreos {approx 12 cookies}, roughy chopped.

How to Make Them:

1. Preheat your oven to 325F and line a 9×9 inch pan with aluminum foil or parchment paper.

2. Throw the first 24 Oreos – filling and all – into your food processor. Pulse until they’re all crumbled down. Add the butter and pulse again until it’s crumbled into the mix.

3. Press the Oreo and butter mixture into the bottom of the pan to make the crust. Toss the pan in the oven and bake for 10 minutes.

4. In a stand mixer with paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese on medium-high until it’s light and fluffy. I start with whipped cream cheese already so you don’t need to whip it up that much.

5. Add the sugar and vanilla and continue to beat on medium-high. Add the sour cream a tablespoon at a time, and throw in the salt.

6. Remove the mixer bowl and mix in the egg and egg yolk with a spatula. Then fold in about half of the 12 roughly chopped Oreos.

7. Pour the cream cheese mixture into the crust and garnish the top with the other half of the roughly chopped Oreos, crumbs, and all the extra pieces you can shake out of the bag {hey, waste not, right?}. Again, you’re using the whole Oreo, filling and all.

8. Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until the cheesecake part is nice and set and just starting toturn golden at the edges. When it’s done baking, let it cool and then chill it in the refrigerator for about three hours.

9. Pull the foil or parchment paper and set the bars on a cutting board. Cut 3×3 or 4×4, depending on if you want larger or smaller bars.

For something so seriously evil, these cheesecake bars are seriously, seriously good. No guilty pleasures here – we proudly own every second of it, and revel in it. Enjoy!

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