Motherhood :: Month 3

Our wee little man is now three months old! He’s grown another two inches since last month and gained another three pounds, jumping him into a very healthy upper percentile. That has been a sigh of relief for me, since he just seemed so little when he was born. Although it looks like we’re going to have to go clothes shopping for him after all! He has totally outgrown the piles and piles of newborn, 0-3 month, 3 month, and 3-6 month clothes we have and is solidly in the 6 month clothes, which we don’t have nearly as many of.

This month, despite the serious little face in our family photos, his smile has come out full force, and he’s charmed us and pretty much everyone else he meets. His motions have become a lot more coordinated as well, though he’s still got a long way to go until he can do like he wants to do – sit up and crawl. When we’ve visited friends with older children, he’s been very frustrated that he can’t get up and move around the way they do. I have a feeling movement is coming soon!

Marcus has such an adorably sweet little personality, we can’t help but fall more in love with him every day. And my protective mama instincts are in full swing. Reading the news about children in danger or children harmed breaks my heart in a whole new way now

I headed back to work this week as well. I was bracing myself for trauma, but while it was a little rough the first time I had to leave him with our friend who is babysitting him, the days go fast and I’m very quickly heading out to pick up my little man and cuddle him again. In a lot of ways, I’m glad to be back and even if I’m not back in the groove yet, I love feeling like I’m contributing to something so much bigger than myself.

Maybe I shouldn’t use that phrase, because “big” and “myself” are words I’m having trouble with right now. I lost a whole lot of weight straight off, but my weight loss has stagnated and I have about 20 pounds to go before I’m back to normal. I’ve got about 40 pounds to go until I’m back where I really want to be {and, frankly, where my knees want me to be}.

I’m going to see what a regular workout schedule, now that I’m back at work with access to my gym, can do for me and I’m ready to get on the phone with Jenny Craig if needed, so we’ll get there. In the meantime, I try to appreciate the joy I have in these pictures, joy for my little family, instead of looking at the extra bulges and pounds. Of course, maybe there would have been fewer obvious bulges if I had worn my fat jeans instead of stuffing myself into my pre-pregnancy jeans out of pride. Oh well, I still think the photos look fabulous!

Even though my maternity leave is over, and my long mornings of cuddles and playing and tummy time and cute noises and wildly waving baby arms and baby feet are restricted to the weekends only now, I’m feeling fulfilled.

I think, if anything, being a mom will make me a better boss. I already hate it when supervisors judge their people by the number of hours spent at their desk rather than the quality and quantity of work produced, and now I have a lot of incentive to make sure the hours I spend at work are quality ones. I know when I see my little son’s face, I won’t want to have the knowledge that I missed spending time with him because I was zoning out, surfing the internet, or otherwise frittering away my time.

Time you enjoy is never wasted, but it’s easy to let it slip away from you when you’re not paying attention. I intend to pay attention to every moment.

Photos by Susan Kruger Photography.

2 thoughts on “Motherhood :: Month 3

  1. THIS: “I already hate it when supervisors judge their people by the number of hours spent at their desk rather than the quality and quantity of work produced, and now I have a lot of incentive to make sure the hours I spend at work are quality ones.” – So much yes to this! Work smarter, not longer. I am always annoyed by people who go on and on about how late they stayed at the office and how they’re working so hard they barely have a life outside of the office – that’t not healthy! Balance is a thing!

    1. It’s a really unhealthy mindset! Good work doesn’t always take, well, a lot of work! I had that discussion with one of my bosses when he wanted a commendation for someone in our office who worked hard. But when I pressed him to name the accomplishments that person had achieved, he couldn’t really do it. We had a good discussion about using work hours as a metric and how to differentiate good performance and, well, trying really hard.

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